Skip to main content

I am not lying



When I first came out publicly about what happened to me, I was ostracized and re victimized by my Liberian community. That pain sometimes feels worse than what he did to me.

He started spreading a rumor that the reason I reported the assault and filed a restraining order was because I was mad he didn't take me out on valentines day.

And they believed him.

This is the part of the story where I begin to believe the lies that society tells me:
Society tells me  I did something stupid, I did something wrong.
Society tells me I chose to be around him. I agreed to enter into a relationship,
I texted him back, I joked around, I sent emoji s,

And because of that, because of emojis,   society tells me, I was asking for it, that what he did wasn't wrong.

What he did wasn't that bad.
Society tells me that I wasn't abused, because he didn't hit me. Society tells me that because it was a "relationship" rape cannot occur.

Society tells me that they need to see physical proof for it to matter.  Society will not accept my truth unless I am  stabbed and raped like others for my pain to really matter.

And because he didn't do that, he must be a great guy, right? Sure he got fired from his last job for sexual harassment, and sure I met two other survivors of his, but we all must be crazy, we all must be lying.

Society tells me that he has done so much good for the Liberian Community that why would I want to ruin his image? Who will do the work? Why do I want to ruin the image of our people that is already muddy?

I told him no,
I said stop.
over and over again

I texted one person and was frozen in fear.
I was in disbelief. I laid back down next to the person who raped me.
and the next day he did it again.

Looking back, I can see how he had been grooming me for months, even when I was in a relationship with someone else, he controlled me. Even when I was working on political campaigns, he controlled me.

He saw in me my desire to succeed, my frustration of not being noticed for my talent, and my passion to help my community.  At first, he offered mentorship, then friendship, then he wanted something more.  It all happened so fast,
 but it happened.
I am not lying.

I wish  need society would believe me

Comments

  1. I believe you Kime! Thank you for speaking your truth. Don't let anyone take that from you! Stay strong. The idiots who choose to believe his lies are the ones who should be ashamed! You have nothing to be ashamed of and instead know your bravery is inspiring!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I commend you for stating what happened to you. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you. I worked as a DV and SV advocate and it saddens me that you are not supported by our community but know that, I believe and support you and I'm sure lot of other Liberian women believe and support you as well.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment